


Loving You Again

by taeyoooooong



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Don't Judge Me, Fluff, I Sold My Soul to Write This, M/M, Temporary Amnesia, also support jaemin's drama, and i miss them, idk - Freeform, im so proud, nct ot21 - Freeform, nomin, nomin are my bbys, please don't let this flop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-27 02:11:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18294740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeyoooooong/pseuds/taeyoooooong
Summary: Jeno's just a little confused.There's a group of twenty boys surrounding him, and saying how worried they've been.There's also a boy that was with him when he first woke up. His name is Na Jaemin, and he seems really nice.Apparently, he and Jaemin have been engaged for three years.





	Loving You Again

**Author's Note:**

> most italics are flashbacks

“Dr. Kang! He’s waking up!”

“Sh. Don’t be too loud.”

Jaemin shook with anticipation as he sat down next to the hospital bed and grabbed the unconscious boy’s hand.

He saw the boy’s eyes slowly open, and when they were fully open, the boy propped himself up.

“Oh my god! You’re awake. I can’t believe you’re awake. It’s actually been a week. I can’t believe you’re up! I thought you weren’t going to make it, are you okay?”

The boy nodded uncertainly.

“Jeno, you won’t believe how worried me and the gang were, I mean, I sobbed for at least an hour straight, but-“

The boy put a hand on Jaemin’s hand, and Jaemin’s words faded in his mouth as he let Jeno speak.

“Sorry, I’m a little confused. Who are you?” 

* * *

 

“So, basically, he has amnesia?”

Dr. Kang nodded. “Yes. But don’t worry, it should only be short term. You’re lucky he didn’t hit the pavement too hard.”

Jaemin felt tears coming on again. “Sorry. Can I have another tissue?”

Dr. Kang passed the box. “I’ll leave you to him. Remember, don’t overload him with information.”

Jaemin nodded, and Dr. Kang walked away. After slightly calming down, Jaemin allowed himself to go back into the room.

“Hi.”

Jeno looked up from his book. “Oh, hello.”

Jaemin sat down next to him. “Sorry I didn’t answer your question earlier. I was just a little overwhelmed.”

Jeno chuckled. “Was I really that important to you?”

Jaemin didn’t answer. “Yeah. You’re my best friend.”

“Oh. I’m sorry I don’t remember. I only remember set-in-stone things, like how to eat, breathe, my name, and other stuff like that, you know?”

“Yeah. Anyways, my name is Jaemin. We’ve been friends since kindergarten. We also are part of a larger group of friends that have been together since high school. A group of twenty-one, including us. I hope you know that we’ve been out of college for four years.”

 “Sadly, no.” Jeno smiled sheepishly, while Jaemin visibly deflated.

“You don’t remember any of us?”

“No. Like I said, I’m really sorry.”

Jaemin shook his head, and stood up. “It’s alright. Try and get some rest Jeno.”

Jeno nodded. “Yeah, okay. See you later.”

* * *

 

“Jaemin! How’s Jeno?”

Taeyong stood up in the waiting room with the rest of his friends there.

Jaemin looked around at his friends’ expecting faces, and let a tear slip.

“He doesn’t remember me.”

There was a deafening silence in the room, with the exception of Jaemin’s cries.

Finally, Yuta stepped up and wrapped Jaemin in a hug. “It’s okay, Jaemin. It’s okay.”

Everyone quickly regained their senses and piled into a group hug. When Jaemin finally stopped crying, they all fell apart.

“What’s wrong with him?” Jisung hesitantly spoke up.

“He has amnesia. He only remembers the basic things, and nothing more. He’s with his parents right now, I’m sure they feel worse than I do.”

“Don’t say that. Your pain is totally understandable. We all love Jeno, but I know you have it so much worse.”

Jaemin wiped his nose on his sleeve. “Well, what can I do now?”

“Just wait. His memory might come back.”

“I don’t know. Dr. Kang did say it was short term, but you never know with amnesia.”

No one spoke for a while. 

“I’m gonna go get some rest now. It’s useless being here. You guys go home too.”

The rest of his friends looked at him, concerned. But, they left, and made sure Jaemin did too.

However, they knew that Jaemin wouldn’t be at home for long.

* * *

 

“Hey, Jeno.”

Jeno smiled at Jaemin as he walked in.

“Looks like you’re doing okay.”

“I better be. I’m getting discharged, you know.” Jeno sent Jaemin a crooked smile.

Jaemin walked over to help Jeno pack his things into a bag.

“You ready to see your friends?”

Jeno zipped up his bag. “Not really. I’m kind of nervous.”

“Don’t be. You might not remember them, but they sure remember you. In fact, they were like your brothers. Your second family. They still love you, so, so, much. I still…never mind.”

Jeno saw Jaemin’s hesitation, but let it go.

* * *

 

“Woah, that’s a lot of people.”

“I told you. Big family.”

Jeno was welcomed by nineteen jumping and whooping boys.

“Ayyyy, my man Jeno is all good now!”

“The legend is back.”

Jeno laughed awkwardly and leaned towards Jaemin. “You’re going to have to tell me their names.”

Jaemin smacked his forehead. “Oh, yeah. I forgot that you forgot.”

He cupped his hands around his mouth. “HEY IDIOTS. LINE UP SO I CAN RE-INTRODUCE YOU TO JENO.”

Everyone grumbled but got into line.

“Okay, so this is in age order. Taeil, Johnny, Taeyong, Yuta, Kun, Doyoung, Ten, Jaehyun, Sicheng, Jungwoo, Lucas, Mark, Xiaojun, Hendery, Renjun, Donghyuck, YangYang, Chenle, and Jisung.”

“Hey guys.” Jeno timidly waved, then turned to Jaemin.

“Where do you stand?”

“O-oh. My birthday is August 13, 2000.”

Jeno looked pleased. “I’m older.”

“Haha, yeah.”

Jaemin looked at his friends staring at him sympathetically.

“Anyways, let’s just sit down and eat. Taeyong didn’t set up his house for nothing.”

Taeyong lit up, and nodded. “Yes, please sit down. I even cooked some of this food.”

They quickly sat down and started eating right away. In the middle of the meal, Jaemin cut himself on something.

“Ow!”

“You okay?”

Jaemin hissed. “Yeah, just cut my hand on something. I don’t even know what.”

Jeno wiped his mouth. “Lemme see.”

Jaemin held up his left hand for Jeno to see, and Jeno gasped.

“Doesn’t seem to serious.”

He squinted. “Jaemin! Is that a ring I see?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

The room immediately quieted.

“I, er.”

“You guys, I can’t believe Jaemin is engaged. Who’s the lucky person?”

Jaemin bit his lip and tried not to start crying. If he did, he’d probably set a world record for how many times he’d cried that week.

He failed.

“I gotta go.”  Jaemin shot up from his seat and ran out of the room.

They watched him run out of the room, and all turned to Jeno.

“What did I say?”

Donghyuck looked sadly at him. “You really don’t remember, do you?”

“Um. I-no. Sorry.”

“He’s engaged to you, Jeno.”

* * *

 

“Are you sure this is where I live?”

Taeyong sent him a pointed look. “Yes. I’ve been here many times, considering the fact that this used to be my old apartment.”

“You let us have it?”

“Of course. You were like my brother. I always wanted a family, and when you guys came along, I was ecstatic.”

Taeyong looked a bit sad.

“We were really close, then?”

“Yeah. All of us, we all stayed in the hospital for a night or two. We slept in shifts, visiting you when we could. I was really worried, Jeno.”

“I wish I could say more. But, I can’t. I’m really sorry, Taeyong.”

Taeyong patted Jeno’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. Just go talk to Jaemin. He needs it the most out of all of us.”

Jeno nodded, and got out of Taeyong’s car. He took the key, and unlocked the door quietly, before stepping inside.

He walked up the stairs, checking every bedroom in hopes of finding Jaemin in one of them. That took a while, Jeno didn’t know where any of the bedrooms were.

Finally, he reached the room at the end of the hallway and heard soft sniffling. He opened the door slowly, and saw pictures littering all four walls. They were pictures of Jaemin and…him.

One was of when they were very small, one was when they were at a birthday party, one was at their high school graduation, one was of their college graduation, another was all 21 of them hanging out, and the rest were just of them doing whatever.

The most recently dated one was on his night stand. The moment Jeno proposed to him.

“How did you get here?”

“Taeyong dropped me off here.”

Jaemin wiped his nose, and sat up.

“Now the real question is, why are you here?”

Jeno averted his gaze. “I’m gonna be honest. Guilt.”

“I figured. Not like it hurts a little less.”

Jeno sat down next to him on the bed. “How long were we engaged?”

“Since March 2nd, three years ago.”

“Wait. You said I was in the hospital for a week before I woke up. I stayed in the hospital for a few weeks after I woke up so if we kind of do some back-tracking,”

Jeno paused. “I got into the accident on our engagement anniversary.”

“Yep.”

“Oh.”

Jeno distracted himself by inspecting the picture board behind him.

“So, uh, how long have we been together?”

“A very long time. I don’t know if I should tell you.”

“Hit me.”

“Over a decade. We were high school sweet hearts.”

“Aren’t we like, 26?”

“Yes.”

Jeno picked at the skin around his finger nails. “So, when was our anniversary?”

“March 2nd.”

Jeno flung his arms out in frustration.

“You’re making me feel like an asshole. Oh my god,”

“You were on your way to give me a gift while you got into the accident.”

Jeno sighed. “I suck. Wow.”

“Yeah, you really do.”

“I kinda deserve it.”

Jaemin shrugged. “But, don’t feel bad. It’s alright.”

“I can’t help it. I don’t know you anymore, but at the same time I just feel so heartbroken.”

“Don’t. Just be normal. We’re not engaged, and we aren’t friends. Simple as that.”

“Okay…”

“Stop feeling like you owe me something. Honestly. Jeno, don’t worry.”

“Fine.”

Jaemin gratefully smiled at him. “Nice. Now, leave.”

“I kinda live here.”

“Oh. I forgot.”

He pursed his lips. “Well, I guess you can just have your old room.”

“Good, because I’m not about to walk out and rent a hotel. I don’t even remember where my credit card is.”

* * *

 

“So, what are your hobbies?”

Jeno cringed at his words, while Jaemin banged his head on the table.

“This is horrible. I never had to tell you anything. We’ve been glued by the hip for years…you just knew.”

“Well, I wouldn’t mind learning all over again, for you.” Jeno gave him a teasing smirk.

_“Well, I wouldn’t mind learning all over again, for you.”_

_“Oh, sure. You’ll burn the house down!”_

_Jaemin was sick with the flu, and he was currently laying in bed. Jeno offered to make him soup for his throat. Unfortunately, Jeno hasn’t cooked since he was in high school. They’re in their third year of college now._

_“No, I’m serious. I will.”_

_Jaemin squeezed Jeno’s hand. “As much as I appreciate your offer, the store is five minutes away, my dear.”_

_Jeno rolled his eyes. “Oh, alright.”_

_He leaned down to kiss Jaemin on the forehead. “Get better.”_

_“Thanks. Love you.”_

Jaemin blinked.

“Uh, are you okay?”

“I-I’m fine. I have to go. See you later.”

Jaemin gathered his things and left quickly; he left Jeno very confused, and with two luke-warm cups of coffee.

* * *

 

“You guys, I don’t know if I can deal with this anymore.”

He sat on the couch at Taeyong’s apartment. His friends littered the floor all around him, some of them also sitting on the couch comforting him. It made him feel slightly better. Sometimes having a big group is wonderful.

“I’m considering just kicking him out and trying to forget him.”

“I don’t think this is possible at this point. Jaemin, you’ve known him since you were five. He’s a part of you.”

“I mean, people get amputated.”

YangYang sighed. “No, Jaemin. I don’t think that’s the answer.”

“Well, I don’t know what to do then.”

Jaemin buried his face in his hands, and Jaehyun pulled him into his chest.

“Min, don’t worry. I know you feel helpless, but you can’t give up now. Damn, I sound cheesy. Anyway, it’s only been a month since Jeno’s woken up. You never know, his memory might come back really soon.”

Jaemin sighed into Jaehyun’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I’m being negative. You’re right.”

“Jaemin, don’t apologize for that. We can’t even imagine how much this all hurts.”

Yuta patted Jaemin’s leg.

“Thanks guys. I think I would’ve cut him off already if you guys weren’t here.”

“Okay, okay. Now, you guys gotta get out. I have to get to work tomorrow morning, and I don’t know if I can keep up with these two a.m. talks for much longer.”

* * *

 

“Hey, are you ever gonna tell him your nickname?”

Jaemin looked up from his phone and frowned.

“Good question. I don’t think I will.”

Renjun hummed. “Why not?”

“He’s the one who gave me it, and I want him to remember it.”

“Very sentimental, I see. But I get it.”

Jaemin pocketed his phone and put his chin on his palm. “Am I overreacting?”

“No. Why would you think that?”

“I dunno. I’ve been crying so hard nearly every day. I find it difficult to get out of bed in the mornings. I have no motivation to do anything. It’s hard. It’s hard losing a person that’s so close to you.”

Renjun was silent. “Jaemin. That isn’t overreacting. You have a serious problem.”

“No, I-“

“Listen. What you’re describing to me, it sounds serious. Now, I’m no psychologist, but…it doesn’t sound right.”

“You majored in psychology, Renjun.”

“Shut up. But really, go see someone about that. Not me. I’m in a biased point of view, so don’t go seeking for my help.”

Jaemin hesitated. “I don’t know…I still feel like this is blowing it out of proportion.”

“Trust me, you’re not.”

Jaemin looked down in shame. “Mhm. Yeah, okay. I’ll be going now. Thanks for listening to me Renjun.”

Renjun sat back on his seat, and sighed worriedly. “Alright. See you later.”

Jaemin left, and Renjun’s heart only broke a little more for his friend.

* * *

 

“Hi, Jaemin.”

Jeno sat at the coffee table doing something on his laptop.

Jaemin set his bag down and flung himself on the couch.

“Would you like to get dinner?”

Jaemin shrugged. “Sure. What restaurant?”

“What about that one restaurant near the café? I forget its name…”

Jaemin’s heart panged. It was where they got engaged, as that was the restaurant that they’d been visiting their whole life.

_“Nana, how is it?”_

_Jaemin laughed. “I don’t know why you ask me every time. I always get the same thing.”_

_“It’s a gentlemanly gesture!”_

_“Sure.” Jaemin smiled at him fondly while he wiped sauce off the corner of Jeno’s mouth._

_“I see you’re a very sentimental man. Bringing me here for our seven-year anniversary…wow. It’s been so long.”_

_Jeno chuckled. “It’s about to mean a lot more than just an anniversary.”_

_“Huh-“_

_Jaemin choked, and wiped his mouth. “What’d you say?”_

_“I said, it’s about to mean a lot-“_

_“Dummy, I know what you said. Please elaborate.”_

_Jeno grinned. “Why, I’d be happy to. So, you see, we’ve been friends since we were babies. Wee little things. I still remember the first time I saw you, tears streaming down your face because you didn’t want to leave your mom. And at that moment I thought, I must protect this boy.”_

_Jaemin smacked him. “I thought we wouldn’t speak of that.”_

_“Hush. From then on, we were glued by the hip. We weren’t apart for more than a day. We’d miss each other terribly when we were apart. And all I’m trying to say is that, you’re like a part of me. You’re my other half. You’re like a piece of my life puzzle, and without you, I’d fall apart.”_

_“Jeno, what are you doing? I’m about to start crying.” Jaemin started to choke up._

_“I’d love to spend the rest of my life with you. Even when I’m old, and I forget everything. I’ll always find a way to remember you.”_

_Jaemin covered his face as Jeno went down to his knee and grabbed his hand._

_“So, what do you say? Do me a favor, and, uh, marry me?”_

_Jeno fumbled around in his pocket a little, and finally produced the ring._

_“Oh, you bet your ass I will.”_

_Jeno burst out laughing, and pulled Jaemin into a hug. After he pulled away, he slid the ring onto his finger shakily._

_“Woohoo! Guess who’s getting hitched?”_

_Their group of friends emerged from around the restaurant, and the remaining strangers nearby clapped._

_Jaemin laughed tearily. “You actually planned this out well without my help. I’m proud of you.”_

_“Hey, I can do things on my own too, you know.” Jeno whined._

_“It’s alright, you big baby. You’re my big baby anyway.”_

_“You’re right. I am, and you better remember that!”_

_Jaemin laughed his heart out, and tilted his head up to kiss Jeno on the lips._

_He’d always remember that._

“Jaemin? Jaemin? Hello-“

“Yeah! I’m good. Sorry, I just remembered that I bought stuff to cook already.”

Jeno nodded. “I see.”

“I’m gonna go do that now.” Jaemin awkwardly smiled, and headed to the kitchen. 

“Jeez, I’m going crazy,” he muttered to himself as he pulled out the ingredients.

Humming, Jaemin danced around the kitchen putting together a meal. It was when he finished that he realized what he actually cooked. Soy sauce egg and fried rice. Huh, look at that. Jeno’s favorite meal.

“Hey, thanks for cooking this! It looks great. I assume one of your hobbies is cooking then.”

“Yeah.”

Jeno took a large spoon and shoved it into his mouth.

“Wouf, thith ith thooo goodth. Ith amathing! Thankths!”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full. But, thank you very much for the compliment.”

“I think this is my new favorite dish.”

“Haha, about that. This was your favorite dish that I cooked for you, before…you know.”

Jeno nodded. “That explains it. I just have this connection with it. It’s wonderful.”

Jaemin awkwardly swayed on his feet. “Well, uh, I’ll be going now. I’ll see you around.”

Jaemin grabbed his bag, and sped out of the house.

* * *

 

“Na Jaemin?”

Jaemin raised his hand, and the attendant led him into a room.

“Take a seat. She’ll be with you in a second.”

Jaemin settled down on the couch, and made himself comfortable. He sat staring at the clock for what felt like forever, but was actually five minutes.

“Ahem.”

Jaemin perked up. “Oh, hi! Nice to meet you, my name is Na Jaemin.”

The woman smiled warmly. “Hello, Jaemin. My name is Song Mina. Just call me Mina.”

Mina sat down on a chair opposite to him. “So, what brings you to therapy?”

“Well…” Jaemin fiddled with his fingers.

“It all started off in the hospital when my fiancé Jeno woke up.”

* * *

 

“And now, here I am! I’m living in the same apartment with my fiancé that doesn’t even remember that I’m his fiancé.”

Jaemin sniffled, and Mina patted him on the back.

“My friend, I understand why you’re here.”

Mina got up, and went back to her seat. “I guess I’m your assigned therapist now. I fully understand that you need one. Unfortunately, today we are out of time. I hope I’ll see you again next week. Good-bye, Jaemin. Take care!”

Jaemin shook her hand, and wiped his nose while smiling. He walked out of the office feeling much better…it felt good having someone to talk to that had a fresh view on the situation.

But still, the pain came back anyway. Plus, these sessions were so inconveniently timed. It was just a waste of money.

So, with a pain in his chest, Jaemin walked back to his car, and drove home.

* * *

 

“Where’d you go off to?”

Jaemin froze mid-step. “Oh, I…danced.”

“You dance?”

“Yeah…it’s one of my hobbies and my job.”

Jeno turned off the TV. “Really? Did I use to dance?”

“Yeah. We joined the dance team together in middle school.”

Jeno stared at him in wonder. “Woah, that’s so cool.”

He perched his chin on his hands. “Could ya dance for me?”

“I’d rather not. Sorry.”

“Oh, come on. Please?” Jeno whined.

_“Please? Just once?”_

_“Jeno…I’m busy. I have school work to do.”_

_“Come onnnn, just one dance?”_

_“I have a biology final in two days, and I still have some things to do. Senior year sucks, and you know that.”_

_“It’s not my fault my finals were over last week. Come on, love. You need a break, you’re way too stressed.”_

_Jaemin rubbed his temples. “Fine. One song.”_

_Jeno grinned, and grabbed his phone to turn on a song. “This song has been stuck in my head for a few days, actually.”_

_“What’s it called?”_

_“Uh…Miroh. I think.”_

_“Huh, okay. I think I’ve heard of it.”_

_Jaemin put a bookmark in his textbook, and stood up._

_“Come on. Get loose!” Jeno started shaking his body wildly, and Jaemin snorted._

_“You look so stupid right now.”_

_Eventually, Jaemin warmed up and they both engaged in a dance battle._

_It wasn’t really a dance battle, per se, but instead it was a competition of who could make the other laugh. Eventually, their poker faces broke and they burst out laughing._

_For the rest of the song, they tried to keep dancing, but their stomachs hurt too much to actually do that. When the song ended, the pair were breathing heavily, and a new song came on._

_“Oh, I really like this song. It’s Best of Me by John.K,” Jeno said as he wiped the sweat from his brow._

_Jaemin flopped himself onto the couch while the song went on._

_After a minute of calming down, Jeno held his hand out to Jaemin. “May I have this dance?”_

_“Really?”_

_“Oh my gosh, just take my hand.”_

_Jaemin chuckled, and accepted Jeno’s offer. Jeno helped him up, and wrapped his hands around his waist._

_“Oh, so we’re slow dancing now.”_

_“Yeah, I mean this is a nice song to slow dance to.”_

_Jaemin sent him a pointed look, but wrapped his arms around Jeno’s neck anyway. “Not really.”_

_Nonetheless, they swayed around Jaemin’s room._

_“You know, this song was a lot more upbeat than I remember it.”_

_“See? But I do like this song.” Jaemin sighed contentedly._

_“Me too.”_

_There was a silence for a while, nothing except the song playing in the background and the sound of the leaves against Jaemin’s window._

_“I’m happy.”_

_Jeno snapped back into reality. “Why?”_

_“I don’t know. Just am.”_

_Jeno brought them to a stop._

_“You can go ahead and say it’s because of me,” He teased._

_“Then, it’s because of you.”_

_Jeno blushed. “I wasn’t actually expecting that.”_

_“Well, it’s true.”_

_Jeno looked away from Jaemin’s eyes. “Ha, look at that. Song’s over, you can go back to studying.”_

_Jaemin smiled at him. “Thanks, Jeno. I really needed that.”_

_“No problem. Anything for my awesome boyfriend.”_

_Jaemin grinned, and kissed him softly. “I’m gonna get back to studying now.”_

_They broke apart, and Jaemin sat back down. Jeno smiled at him before leaving his room to let him study._

_Jaemin ended up getting a hundred on the final._

“Um…” Jaemin shook himself back into reality.

“Tell you what, I’ll dance for you tomorrow. I’m exhausted.”

Jeno shrugged. “Sure. See you.”

Jaemin exhaled, and went upstairs. He locked the door, and went on his music app.

_“I don’t wanna hide no more,_

_I don’t wanna lie no more._

_Now that I’ve found you,_

_Imma let you get the best of me.”_

Best of Me wasn’t that good of a song now, especially if Jeno wasn’t there to dance with him.

* * *

“So, how’s it going?”

Jaemin groaned.

“Not well. I keep having memories pop up at the worst times. He’s so like his old self, but not at the same time.”

Yuta and Jaehyun nodded sympathetically. “Sorry, Min. I wish we could do something to help.

“I mean, Jaehyun and I could always go over to him and smack some sense into him. Literally.”

“As much as I wish you could, I don’t think you should.”

“No, you’re right. Yuta and I are NOT going to do that. Right?” Jaehyun looked over to Yuta. He held his hands up in defense.

“Hey, just being protective over our lil’ bro.”

“Don’t worry about it, guys. It’s been a hard three months, but I’ll get there. I have to have hope that he’ll get better.”

Jaehyun grabbed his hand. “I don’t want to be that person, but are you prepared for the moment when you realize he won’t?”

Jaemin shook his head. “Truthfully, no. And I don’t want to think about it.”

Yuta sighed. “Jae, it’s too early for that. Let him have hope.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come off that way.”

“I know you didn’t. It’s alright.”

Jaehyun pressed his lips into a thin line. “I think we should go now. I hope we’ll see you soon, Jaemin. We missed not having you at group hangouts. And, we missed…Jeno, too.”

Jaemin averted his eyes. “Yeah. Don’t worry, guys. Thanks for visiting me. I miss you guys too.”

Jaehyun and Yuta got up. “Bye, Min. See you later.”

Jaemin got up to walk them out, and waved to them as they got in the car.

Truthfully, he didn’t want to hang out with them because them being all together reminded him of when Jeno remembered.

And maybe that’s what changed about him over these three months.

It was the fact that Jaemin didn’t want to remember either.

* * *

 

Three months later and many missed group hangouts later, Jaemin was sitting on his bed reading a book.

“Hey, do you want to hang out with everyone? They asked.”

Jaemin looked up from his book to see Jeno leaning against the door frame.

“Sorry, no.”

“Why not?”

Jaemin closed his book and set it aside. “I’m tired, and I have stuff to do later today. Sorry. You can go ahead.”

“Are you avoiding me?”

Jaemin was shocked. “No?”

“It really seems like it. It’s been almost half a year since I woke up, and the most you’ve ever been with me is when we eat dinner. You always finish before me, too.”

Jaemin stood up. “I don’t mean to, I swear.”

“Are you sure? You seem really content doing it.”

“Jeno, I swear, I’m not-“

“Jaemin, I’m tired of this.”

Jaemin stared at him in disbelief. “You? You’re tired of what?”

“Of you pulling away from me! I’ve done everything I can…I tried to get to know you. I tried to be nice to you, I talked to people around me so I could just try and remember anything. Just anything!”

Jeno pulled at his hair.

“You’ve just kept pushing me away for no reason…it kinda stings.”

Jaemin scoffed. “Stings? I’ve been in pain for half a year. No, even longer than that. You think you’re hurt because I don’t want to spend time with you? Rightfully so; I mean, who would want to spend time with their best friend who forgot them?”

“I get it, but stop being so selfish. You’re in pain…but I am too. I have feelings, you know.”

“Yeah. I know that. But…you’re not you. I can’t put up with that…it sounds trashy, but it’s the truth.”

Jaemin’s eyes started to pool with tears; and Jeno wasn’t faring all that well either.

“What? You’re making no sense.”

Jaemin was now breathing heavily and starting to cry really hard, and Jeno carefully walked up to him and grabbed his hands.

“Calm down, please.” Jeno pleaded with Jaemin as he held his shaking hands.

“C-can you do me a favor?”

Jeno was taken aback. “Sure…?”

“J-Jeno…please. Please, smile.” Jaemin softly cradled his face. Jeno was shocked, it was the first time Jaemin had willingly touched him. He hesitated, but smiled anyway. It didn’t reach his eyes.

“No. I-no…it’s not you. It’s not you…” Jaemin backed away from Jeno until he was against the wall.

Jeno frowned. “It’s me…? I don’t know what you’re saying.”

“When I’d cry, or when I was sad, you’d smile at me. You had an eye-smile, and your eyes would become crescents. I don’t know why, but it cheered me up. But, your smile now…”

“I’m sorry…I can’t fix that.”

“I know you can’t. It hurts so much. It hurts to see you right here in front of me, and it’s not even you.”

Jeno looked at Jaemin sadly. “W-what was I like?”

“You were…kind. So unbelievably kind.  Even when you were in a bad mood, you never ever got mad at anyone else. You tried so hard to be funny, but you weren’t. I laughed anyway because it put a smile on your face.” Jaemin slid down the wall and sat down.

Jeno sat in front of him, and motioned for Jaemin to keep going.

“You were also incredibly oblivious. It took you a while to realize that I liked you. And even longer for you to realize you liked me.”

Jaemin smiled bittersweetly. “And you had the purest soul. You were allergic to cats, but one day you saw a cat that was stranded in the rain. You came home that day with a cat and a red nose.”

“You acted like you were tough…but when we were alone, you’d always want my attention. You’d beg for me every morning to cook for you, because god knows what would’ve happened if you cooked.”

Jaemin wiped his nose. “I loved you. Every part of you…from your large nose to your beautiful eyes.”

“And I think I still do.”

He paused to laugh at himself. Jeno rubbed his forehead. “Then, what’s stopping you from showing it?”

“What are you saying? That’s crazy, Jeno…I can’t do that. You don’t know me anymore, and as much as I hate it, I don’t know you. You said your favorite color was purple, and it was blue! You say you hate watermelons, but in reality, every summer I’d see you stuffing it down your face. Who are you, Lee Jeno? Are you even Lee Jeno?”

Jeno didn’t move.

“See? You can’t fucking answer me! That’s the reason why! I. Don’t. Know. You. And this Jeno right here…I don’t-“

Jeno cut him off by kissing him on the lips. For a while, Jaemin kissed back. But then, he realized what he was doing, and pushed him off.

“Y-you’re not Lee Jeno. Jeno would never-he’d never do that. I hate you. I hate you so damn much. I-I…y-you need to go.

Jaemin was visibly shaking, and he wiped his lips as if Jeno was plaguing him. “Get out of my house. Get out!”

Jeno was about to speak, but Jaemin yelled at him. “Get out, now!”

He stared sadly at Jaemin, and then looked away guiltily.

Then, he left.

And he left Jaemin wondering what life would be like without a certain boy with a large nose and beautiful eyes.

* * *

 

Jaemin was currently sobbing his eyes out. His new record, a whole month now.

Unfortunately, this feeling was all to familiar for the past seven or so months.

Well, what else was Jaemin supposed to feel? Jeno just kissed him, for _fun._ Well, not for fun, but you get the idea. He wasn’t just devastated, he was furious. Not just at Jeno, but at himself too. He let it happen, knowing that he would’ve gotten hurt in the end. It was incredibly selfish of both of them. He sniffled, and pulled another tissue out of the box.

Then, he heard his notification ring tone.

_jeno: jaemin. Meet me at the cherry blossom bridge._

_“Oh, you fucker. How does he have the audacity to text me when I’m wallowing? He ruins everything.”_ He thought to himself. But his heart betrayed him, and it skipped a beat despite him still being angry. Curse his life. However, there was something just a little bit strange.

The more he thought about it, he grew confused. The cherry blossom bridge? That was where they first met. They met there the first day of kindergarten, before school started. Was fate playing a cruel trick? Or did Jeno really…no. That was irrational, since Dr. Kang said his memory wouldn’t return for months or years. Plus, he probably called Jaemin over to talk about their little…issue that happened a month ago.

_Jaemin: ok. Be there in 10._

He rose from the couch, and went to the bathroom. He looked at his face, and his expression almost contorted in disgust. Ew. He looked horrible. While he washed his face and fixed his hair, he thought about what Jeno could want. But then, he realized he didn’t like thinking about Jeno anymore, so he stuffed the thoughts into the back of his head.

Jaemin threw on a hoodie and headed out. He felt a sense of anxiety seep in for no particular reason. Jaemin almost slapped himself at his stupidity. It’s not like Jeno could do any worse to his poor heart anyway. He had short term amnesia, what else?

Finally, in his bout of self-pity, he finally reached the park with the bridge, and saw Jeno standing on it. Jaemin sighed, and jogged over to him.

“Jeno?”

There wasn’t a reply, and Jaemin tilted his head in confusion.

“Jeno. Are you alright?”

This time, Jeno turned around. Jaemin could see dried tear tracks on his cheeks, and his eyes were still red.

“What happened? Are you hurt or something?”

Jeno shook his head and started to walk closer.

“Jaemin.”

In a panic, Jaemin started to back up.

“W-wait, I-“

“Nana.”

Jaemin’s breath hitched. “What? Who-H-how did you…what?”

And for the first time in over half a year, Jeno gave him a real smile. _That_ smile.  The one Jeno would give him when he was upset, or just not having the best day.

_“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. What the heck?”_ Jaemin thought as his insides were melting.

“It’s been quite a long time since I’ve seen you like that.” He teased.

“I-I don’t…w-what?”

“Do I really have to say it for you to get it?”               

“Please do. I’m having a panic attack. Help me.” Jaemin was frozen.

Jeno laughed out loud, and took Jaemin into his arms for a hug. He grabbed his hand and kissed his ring finger, where his engagement ring was.

“Jaemin,” He breathed.

“I remember.”

**Author's Note:**

> hehe this has been in the works for an unnecessary amount of time, mostly because i've been really lazy lol  
> OTL but I'm actually pretty happy with how it turned out. thank you guys so much for reading <3


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